We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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