sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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