put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
