she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
