I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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