Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
