she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
