I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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