I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
