I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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