I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
