i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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