Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
