Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize