and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She bit a glass in half.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
