I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
