I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
