the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
They took my balls.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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