why didn't you poke me back
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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