Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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