So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
