help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
