It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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