Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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