Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Success! We fucked roommates!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
