tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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