road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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