i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
