so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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