So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
