I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
