I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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