She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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