ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
