Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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