Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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