Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
4 words: hood of his car
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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