The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
