My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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