Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i drank out of a bidet.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
