Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
