Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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