a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
