I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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