She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she told me i tasted like america
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Randomize
