I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Drunk is a universal language darling
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize