If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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