ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
that's an acceptable place to lick
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
