No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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