for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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