I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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