i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
