If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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