i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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