I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
