It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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