you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
