lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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