hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize