singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
